My mother arrived today from the US. After almost a decade of being motherless, I felt a huge relief seeing her earlier walk out from the arrival area of Ninoy Aquino International Airport.
For some reason, my tears began to fall as she walked towards us. It’s such an overflowing emotion of joy and sadness.
What are my tears for?
My tears were for those days when I felt I needed her the most.
Those days when I was struggling as a mother and I needed expert opinion.
Those days when I have to figure out all by myself the ropes and strokes of becoming a new mom.
That day that I got married and she was not there.
That day that I brought my youngest son to the world.
That day that I felt ill and I needed someone to nurse me..
Those days that I felt like the world is against me and I needed someone who would not turn me away.
Those days that I needed to make life decisions.
She have missed so many milestones and moments that when I saw her, my longingness involuntarily manifested through my tears. It was just a relief seeing her like its the first time. When I held her, hugged her, it feels like home. I felt I am truly home.
Today I am travelling back to Bicol. I wish I wasn’t because I simply would just like to spend every moment with my mother.